The next day (day seven from discovery) the pharmacy called to inform us that they had located two bottles of the prescription stuff and I could pick it up at the Walgreens on the corner of Madison and Laramie, in Chicago.

    The corner of Madison and Laramie, in Chicago, is not a nice neighborhood.  Flak jackets are optional.

    I got the stuff, brought it home and over dinner read the four page package insert and instructions.  They were, to put it mildly, sobering.  I casually handed the pages over to my wife and suggested she read them.

"That's okay honey, you can fill me in on what to do."
"No, I really think you should read this…"
"Really?  Well, okay…"

    I watched her calmly read the papers and couldn't help but notice how her eyes got bigger and bigger with each page as she worked her way through it.  When complete, she set it aside and quietly asked me,

"Do you still want to use this stuff?"
"No, not really…"

    Turns out the prescription stuff was a 1% lindane solution.  Lindane is a neurotoxin that is banned in 52 countries and California.  It is intended for use when the usual treatments fail and, oh by the way, it has nasty side effects like seizures.  A "put poison control on the speed dial before use" kind of drug and I had no real desire to put this on my childs head.